Understanding Anger
We all know that anger can sometimes feel like a storm brewing inside, much like that cliffhanger ending of a Netflix series that leaves you with a mix of tension and anticipation. But here’s the thing—anger isn’t just a dramatic plot twist. It’s a real, powerful emotion, and when managed well, it can actually help you. Think of it as an alert signal, nudging you to set boundaries or take action when something’s not right
In simple terms, anxiety is the nagging feeling of worry or fear about future events. It’s like the suspense in a thriller movie—except it’s playing in your head, on repeat. The catch? Unlike that movie, anxiety doesn’t always end. It’s normal to feel anxious at times (like before asking someone out or waiting for that important email). But when it sticks around like an overplayed song and starts meddling with your day-to-day life, that’s when it shifts from a typical feeling to a potential issue.
All states of anger are triggered by a feeling of being blocked in our progress.
Scale of Anger
The Anger Scale: Finding Your Emotion’s Vibe
Annoyance
That mild irritation when your phone keeps buzzing with notifications during a nap.
The growing tension after failing to beat the same level in a video game for the 20th time.
Frustration
Exasperation
The eye-roll moment when your roommate leaves their dirty dishes out again.
Jumping into debates over minor things, like whether pineapple belongs on pizza.
Argumentativeness
Bitterness
Feeling hurt and resentful after being left out of a group plan without explanation.
Plotting to get back at a friend who shared an embarrassing story about you.
Vengefulness
Fury
When you find out someone spread a false rumor about you, and it blows up your social circle.
Mapping the Feeling
Now that you’ve got a handle on your anger, let’s do some soul-searching. Here are some questions to help you map out what’s going on beneath the surface:
What’s really causing this anger
Is it actually that your group chat left you on “read,” or is it that you’re feeling left out and want to be included?
Why are you feeling this way?
Are you annoyed because you didn’t hit today’s goal, or maybe because you’re feeling the weight of everyone’s expectations—yours, theirs, and your mom’s “friendly reminders”?
How long has this feeling been simmering?
Is this something you’ve been holding in since the group project didn’t go your way, or did it all start when your coffee order was wrong again this morning?
What moments triggered this feeling the most?
Pinpoint those key scenes—like when your best friend rescheduled last minute or someone commented on your "screen time" stats. Noticing these patterns can help you see what lights that fuse.
What other emotions or physical sensations came with it?
Does anger feel like a tight jaw, a restless energy, or the urge to type a dramatic tweet only to delete it? Recognizing these adds layers to understanding what’s going on inside.
Anger 101
Handy Hacks
Reflective exercises
When to reach out to counsellors:
Here are some guidelines to help you recognize when you should consider meeting a mental health professional:
- When stress feels unmanageable: If academic pressure, deadlines, or personal responsibilities are constantly overwhelming you, hindering your daily routine and productivity.
- Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness: When these feelings stick around for weeks and start affecting your daily life.
- Difficulty focusing or making decisions: If your ability to concentrate or think clearly is noticeably impacted.
- Struggling with relationships consistently: If you’re having recurring conflicts or difficulty connecting with friends, family, or peers.
- Feelings of anxiety or panic: When worries or fears become overwhelming or lead to panic attacks.
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms: Turning to excessive alcohol, drugs, or other risky behaviors to escape problems.
- Thoughts of self-harm or suicide: If you’ve ever felt like harming yourself or that life isn’t worth living, reach out immediately.
- Changes in sleep or appetite: Sleeping too much or too little, or significant changes in your eating habit
- When you just feel 'off': If you can’t quite pinpoint what’s wrong but feel like you’re not yourself.
- Loss of interest: If things you used to enjoy no longer feel fulfilling or exciting.